Life is too short not to love the sh*t out of yourself – Florence Given
This is just one of the many amazing quotes that fill this book.
This is a book that I didn’t realise I needed until after finishing it! As kinda cheesy as it sounds, this book has genuinely changed me. My mindset surrounding a lot of things has drastically shifted!
I was nearly not gonna buy this book and I’m so grateful now for past me for making the right decision.
Instead of me trying to explain this book I’m gonna put here the description of the book from Amazon. There’s so much going on in this book that it’s very hard to sum up in a sentence, but it’s predominantly about empowerment.
Women Don’t Owe You Pretty is the ultimate book for anyone who wants to challenge the out-dated narratives supplied to us by the patriarchy.
Through Florence’s story you will learn how to protect your energy, discover that you are the love of your own life, and realise that today is a wonderful day to dump them.
Florence Given is here to remind you that you owe men nothing, least of all pretty.
It speaks about what it is like living as a women in the 21st century and all the stuff we have to deal with. which is more than I thought. I always thought I knew a lot about feminism and women’s rights etc etc, but I have learnt so much from this book! It is so eye opening realising that in 2020 we still have to deal with so much rubbish that men don’t have to.
It’s also not just about women, it does touch on race and white privilege which is a very important topic to know about especially with everything that has been going on in the last month. Additionally it includes a lot about the LGBT+ community and what it likes being part of that community in 2020. While things are definitely better for a lot of people, we still have a long way to go until we are all equal.
So there’s a whopping 21 chapters across the 200 pages which covers everything from feminism, love and relationships, self-love, dating, sex, body image, marriage, privilege just to name a few. So it pretty much covers everything you need to know about being a women in 2020!
One of the chapters that interested me a lot was the male gaze, her saying goes : women do not exist to satisfy the male gaze.
She touches on a lot about how males basically dominate everything and from young ages we, as women, are taught so many things like how to act and what to do and not to do. Things like shaving, body image, dating and relationships. I never really thought a lot about it but we are taught so much about looking a certain way to appeal to men even if we didn’t realise we were being taught it. I tend to dress nicely and wear quite bold eccentric make up because for me it’s how I express myself but now after reading this I am questioning whether I subconsciously do it because I want guys to notice me…
This leads onto her talking about self love and becoming the love of your own life. You can’t live your life doing certain things because that’s what the media or society tells you to do, you need to take control of your life. If you don’t wanna shave your legs then don’t. You don’t have to wear make up. You can go out wearing that. It has made me realise that people do live their lives in fear. For example some people may not want to go out in a skirt because they’re worried about being catcalled or being followed or something, I have definitely felt this. It really sucks that while men can go out and walk around at night and it’s fine but women can’t because something could happen to them.
I am the sort of person who would walk back from somewhere if it was dark but everyone always tells me not because that’s what we’re taught. I never thought that much about how male dominated the world is until I read it. I knew it was somewhat bad but this book has made me realise that it’s really bad and we need to stand up and make a change.
She talks a lot about sex and things like consent and rape which are extremely important topics that you always hear about from a mans point of view, especially in the media. Things like how women are always asked what they were wearing in rape cases, when we should be teaching guys about consent not teaching girls not to go out wearing certain things.
When I was in secondary school, pencil skirts were actually banned because people wore them too short and they were “distracting for the guys” according to the school. So instead we had to wear skater skirts which were not much better because they were still short and if one gust of wind came along then you would flash everyone. Anyway, I think it’s ridiculous that from age 12 on wards we were being taught about what we can and can’t wear in front of guys! Also when we had PE (physical education for those not in the UK) we did separate things to the boys because there were some sports that only the guys could do. At the time all of this seemed normal, but looking back I think it’s kinda awful that we’re separated so much into boxes, boys and girls.
We are always put into boxes and under labels based on our appearance. She mentions about never assuming things about people because you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover. We may say we don’t, but I think everyone does. You should never assume someones ethnicity, gender, sexuality, background etc etc. Just because someone dresses very feminine it does not mean that they identify as a women and are straight. You should be whoever you feel you are!
A term that she repeats throughout the book is about not settling for crumbs because you deserve the whole cake! We’re constantly told by society the things we can and can’t do. But it’s time to stop settling for little things because you deserve SO much, you deserve the whole damn cake! Go out and get that cake! This doesn’t just apply to yourself and taking control of your life, it can’t relate to your dating life as well because you deserve someone amazing not someone who’s only gonna give you the crumbs.
This is the sort of book that I am going to have to read again and again and even take notes from because there is so much information packed in these 200 pages! I could honestly ramble on for hours about this book but instead you should definitely check it out, it will really open your eyes.
It has given me a lot of think about in my life and has made me realise I have a lot to think about and change in my life.
I am quite opinionated and will stand up for myself when someone makes a sexist joke or says I can’t do something that involves heavy objects when at work. I am not afraid to clap back. But part of me definitely still holds back out of fear of what others will say.
I need to stop doing this and so do others because things are never gonna change unless we speak up! Obviously it’s gonna be difficult because teaching half the world’s population about how to treat women basically, is not gonna be easy. I’m definitely gonna start doing things because I want to do them and not hold back because I’m told not to do them, especially in terms of my appearance I think that’s an easy starting point.
Seriously, if you want to make some changes in your life, then go buy this book and you won’t regret it!
Also can we talk about gorgeous this cover is! I absolutely love the colours and also the illustrations inside are amazing, I am definitely gonna have to go and buy some of her prints off her website now.
Also (and lastly) the fact that she’s only 21 and has achieved so much is absolutely amazing and so inspiring! It has really made me realise that I need to get up off my butt and do something with my life…
Have you read this? Is this something you would be interested in reading?
previous women empowerment posts
I am back with even more book recommendations because all I do at the moment is read… I decided not to put feminism in the title because… Read more “so you want to read about women empowerment…”
While I may not be the Spice Girls generation (big up the 2000s babies) I am a huge fan. There’s no denying that when Wannabe and Spice… Read more “What Would The Spice Girls Do? | Book Review”